Lead With A Limp

If Jesus had an iPod what would be on it?

Jason - Recovering Sex Addict — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 17:07:37 +0000

If Jesus had an iPod what would be on it? I got this question from some curriculum for children’s church. What are your thoughts?

What’s more important to you, justice or fairness? Are they different?

Jason - Recovering Sex Addict — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 18:02:48 +0000

There is a common buzz word being used out there: social justice. When is social justice…justice or is it just a movement to make sure everything is fair? What side of the fence do you lean toward: Social Fairness or Social Justice?

Does God value fairness?

Jason - Recovering Sex Addict — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 13:50:51 +0000

My friend and I were talking over coffee today about this interesting question: does God value fairness? What are your thoughts?

How much of your pastor’s personal life do you think you should know?

Jason - Recovering Sex Addict — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 03:55:13 +0000

The last few posts have started some interesting conversations which I’d like to hear more opinions about. How much of your pastor’s personal life do you think you should know? If your pastor was struggling with an addiction would you like to know? How vulnerable do you feel a pastor should be to the public?

Addiction and Integrity?

Jason - Recovering Sex Addict — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 17:42:51 +0000

Can someone have an addiction and still be a person of integrity? Post your comments!

Ex-Pastor Ted Haggard Holds Home Prayer Meeting

Jason - Recovering Sex Addict — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 16:35:53 +0000

I found this article super encouraging to me, maybe you will too. What’s your thoughts? Are you cynical?

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo.—Former megachurch pastor Ted Haggard held a prayer meeting at his home Thursday evening, saying the living room event was the beginning of his resurrection three years after he was forced to resign amid a sex scandal involving a male prostitute.

Wearing blue jeans and a gray T-shirt, Haggard spoke to photographers and reporters before the prayer meeting at his home in Colorado Springs. Almost 25 years ago, he had led about two dozen people in prayer from his home and founded New Life Church, eventually becoming an evangelical superstar.

“For the people who come tonight, that means they believe in the resurrection in me,” he said. “Because I died. I was buried.” Haggard, 53, insists his intent is not to start a new church, but he isn’t ruling out the possibility. He said the reason for starting prayer meetings at his home after three years of exile was a simple one. “We were getting lonely,” he said.

Those attending the gathering carried cookies, pies, and brownies along with their Bibles. By the time prayers began, more than 50 cars were parked outside the home. Reporters weren’t allowed inside.

“I think there’s just a lot of happy people, those who love Ted,” said Jacquelyn Espinoza, 55, one of those at the gathering. “Everyone has a right to make mistakes and stumble.”

Haggard began his journey to becoming one of the nation’s best-known evangelists in 1985 at his home, where he led people in worship. Out of those meetings grew New Life Church, which had about 14,000 members in 2006 and a $50 million prayer campus.

As head of the National Association of Evangelicals, Haggard had the ear of White House staffers, participating in conference calls with them and lobbying Congress for conservative U.S. Supreme Court justices.

In late 2006, Haggard’s life began to unravel when a male prostitute revealed the pastor had paid him for sex over three years. Haggard, who is married and has five children, said the sexual allegations were false, and admitted only to receiving a massage from his accuser and buying drugs from him.

“The essence of our faith as Christians is to forgive,” said Alan Hawkins, a pastor from Albuquerque, N.M., who traveled to Colorado Springs to be in Haggard’s living room Thursday. “When this thing happened, I said, ‘Ted, nobody is defined by their worst moments.’”

Haggard later confessed to “sexual immorality” and resigned as president of the National Association of Evangelicals. He also was forced out at the church he founded. Earlier this year, Haggard admitted he had an “inappropriate” relationship with a church volunteer a few years ago. Haggard said the relationship with the man, who was 22 at the time, did not involve physical contact.

Haggard, who developed an anti-gay reputation over the years, told KMGH-TV in an interview Wednesday that he has more compassion for gays because of his trials in recent years. Haggard has also said that when he was 7, a co-worker of his father’s molested him.

“People find it hard to stomach me,” Haggard admitted Thursday, before the steady stream of people started arriving at his home. “I understand,” he said, a slight grimace on his face. Even so, the people who showed up at his home were willing to give him a second chance. “People love a good comeback story,” Haggard said.

Guest Blogger – Mark Brouwer “How Vulnerable Should Leaders Be?”

Jason - Recovering Sex Addict — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 19:32:44 +0000

How vulnerable should leaders be? Should we cover or reveal our weaknesses? Should we put on a brave and confident face, even if we aren’t brave or confident? Or should we be open about our struggles and doubts? Of course the answer isn’t found in one extreme or the other … it’s somewhere in the middle.

Leaders often feel the desire – and sometimes even pressure – to make themselves look better than they really are. Many leaders struggle to let their guard down, and in the process alienate people, and set themselves up for burnout or flameout when it comes to light that they are not living congruently.

Don Miller has a great article on his blog about this topic. Here are a few excerpts:

Christian leaders who can’t admit their mistakes place a wall between their congregation and God, rather than a window. They paint an image of Christ on themselves, as they feel this is their job. People like the painting of Jesus they see on the wall, but in the end, the painting isn’t the real thing, and so Jesus just gets distorted.

A person who cannot admit their faults is afraid, is insecure, and leads from the belief that if they make a mistake, nobody will follow them. A confident person would admit mistakes freely, because they really don’t need you or I to approve, they would get that from Jesus, and they’d teach us to get it from Jesus too. Instead, they teach us that they do not make mistakes, and so they are selfish.

Nobody in scripture is perfect, save Christ. And God has no trouble airing the dirty laundry of his followers. Peter denies Christ, but God leaves the incident in the text, Moses is a murderer, but God leaves the story in the text, David cheats on his wife, Lot offers his daughters, Thomas won’t believe his friends who saw Christ alive, and so on and so on. There are few good marriages in the Bible, and fewer good fathers. Throughout the ages, Christians have been more than comfortable admitting their humanity, almost as a reference to God’s goodness. Until, that is, western civilization and, perhaps, the commercialization of our culture. Now Jesus is a product, and we sell him, and if we are selling a product, the product better work, so we just make things up about how great we are.

I’ve noticed healthy children often have parents who sit down with them and explain their short-comings. A parents admission that they weren’t perfect frees the child to learn from their parents mistakes rather than cover up or react to family issues. But parents who, in neediness and selfishness, will not admit fault, in an effort to control their children, often have children who feel they cannot be safe with their parents, and sometimes react. Authenticity works in all forms of leadership, I think.

See more of Mark’s thoughts on leadership at lastingleaders.com

Dan Allender Interview

Jason - Recovering Sex Addict — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 19:20:32 +0000

Dan Allender is the President of Mars Hill Graduate School and Professor of Counseling. He’s the author of a bunch of books, among them, The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse.

Join Steve Brown as he talks with Allender about his book, Leading with a Limp: Turning Your Struggles into Strengths.

Listen Here

Let’s Get Started!

Jason - Recovering Sex Addict — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 19:10:25 +0000

Shall we start with a few stories? What is your limp? Has it become your strength? How?

Welcome!

Jason - Recovering Sex Addict — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 18:21:39 +0000

Welcome to Lead With A Limp. The purpose of this blog is to give voice and resources to leaders in any profession that are leading with a “limp”. The term “limp” comes from a story in the Bible of Jacob who after wrestling with an angel lived the rest of his life with a limp to remind him of the strength of God and his weakness. I created this blog because I am a leader with a limp. I’ve been a staff member at a church for 5 years and through my time there I struggled and still do today with a sex addiction.

I’ve been in more intense recovery in recent years, but I spent most of my early years lost without anywhere to go and limited numbers of people I could talk to. My intention in starting this blog is not to teach you how to get free from or find healing from your “limp” but rather to create a safe place to ask questions and to resource each other for help.

The ways you can contribute to the conversation is by emailing me (leadwithalimp[at]gmail[dot]com) your story so I can post it, comment on existing posts, and post resources you’ve found helpful. Whenever you comment it would be helpful if you would let us know what your “limp” is. Let’s bring our “limps” into the light so we can all learn from each other and find freedom.

Thanks for your courage to participate in this endeavor.

Jason
Sex Addict